


Careless

by Anonymous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 20:31:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12755667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shiro thinks it’s probably hard not to be at least a little in love with Lance. Unfortunately, he doesn't say this out loud.Shiro and Lance don't talk about the right things and make everything needlessly complicated.





	1. Chapter 1

There’s something about Lance that draws Shiro in. It’s the easy way he lightens the mood whenever he enters a room, the way he’s never afraid to make a fool of himself to make another feel better. It’s the cocky jut of his hip when Allura debriefs the team. His trusting nature, naive and frustrating at times, but endearing nonetheless. The wide grin that stretches his face when he makes a great shot. The way he ropes Shiro into his antics. The way he makes Shiro feel young, the way his bright eyes make Shiro feel more important than he has any right to feel.

He’s infatuated, maybe. Shiro thinks it’s probably hard not to be at least a little in love with Lance.

Since he’s such a boisterous personality, it’s frightening when Lance gets serious. Even in peril, he’s usually still cracking jokes over the comms, hiding his concern for his teammates under playful ribbing. Scrapes and bruises get whined about (quite vocally), but serious injuries usually get laughed off until he decides it won’t be an inconvenience for the mission. It’s deeply unsettling, then, when Lance’s voice crackles in Shiro’s ear just as he was starting to wonder why the radios were so quiet.

“I’m a little stuck,” he borderline whimpers. A chill runs down the length of Shiro’s body.

It seems Hunk and Pidge also sense the severity of the issue, as a frantic chorus of “Lance?” fills the comms.

“I can’t talk much,” Lance says, voice hushed, “there are sentries nearby. They don’t know where I am.”

“Where are you?” Shiro asks.

A hysteric, cut off giggle. It’s not as comforting as his usual laughter. “Crushed under a beam.”

There’s silence for a moment while everyone considers his words. Keith is the first to react, as per usual. “I’m on my way,” he snaps.

“I’m closer.”

“Shiro–”

“You both might want to just come.” Lance’s voice is starting to tremble. “There’s a lot of them. They know I’m around.”

“You’re gonna be okay, Lance, we’ll be there soon.” Shiro tries to keep his own voice calm, but even he can hear the panic seeping in as he rushes towards Lance’s little dot on his map. He’s only a few corridors and a flight of stairs away. “Do you have your bayard?”

“It’s across the room.”

Shiro rounds a corner and finds Keith sprinting in the same direction. Wide eyes meet Shiro’s. Shiro briefly, ridiculously, is amazed to see Keith so concerned about someone he wanted to throttle when this whole journey started. “We’re almost there,” Keith barks. “Stay hidden.”

Lance is silent, save for heavy breathing.

“Lance?”

“Oh, God,” he whimpers. Shiro can hear footsteps over the mic. Keith picks up speed and flings himself down the stairs, shouting when he comes into contact with the sentries.

It’s complete chaos for a period. Lance was right to ask for them both to help out. There’s already a section of the room that’s crumbled down and bullets sprayed into the walls when Shiro arrives, and enough bodies on the ground to suggest Lance had done some pretty heavy work on his own. Shiro keeps searching through the mess for Lance as they fight through the last of the crowd, but he’s still tucked out of sight.

Finally, as Keith slams the heel of his bayard into the back of the last sentry’s head, Shiro catches a glimpse of blue. He steps over the collapsed figures around the room. He’s limping a little, though he doesn’t remember when he took a hit to the leg. Keith is more nimble and beats him to the bayard laying next to a pile of rubble.

“Lance?” Shiro calls.

“Over here!”

Shiro turns his head and feels a little faint. Lance is shoved into a corner of the room, wedged impossibly between two fallen sections of the wall and covered with a massive pillar. His helmet is knocked a couple feet in front of him. He gives a friendly little wave, the cheerful action in sharp contrast to his rubble-coated hair and dented armor. There’s blood trickling down from his forehead.

“What happened?” Shiro frets. His hands hover over various sections of the collapsed room, afraid to touch anything until he knows exactly what’s supporting what. “Why didn’t you call for backup?”

Lance looks ashamed. Shiro wants to bite his own tongue off for it. “I was up on a balcony picking them off but they, uh, had explosives, I guess?” He offers a nervous grin. “They never spotted me and it took out a couple levels though, so they didn’t know where I fell.”

Keith is not as cautious as Shiro and begins shoving off chunks of debris. “You’re a lucky son of a bitch,” he grumbles, even though he looks relieved to see Lance alive and in one piece. Lance grunts as the stone shifts around him.

“Careful, I’m a little tender, geez!”

“Sorry for not wanting you to get crushed to death!”

“Guys,” Shiro sighs.

Pidge’s voice buzzes in over the comms. “Is Lance okay?”

“Never been better,” Lance wheezes as the beam shifts down, squishing him in a little more firmly. With a little more space cleared, Shiro and Keith start working on lifting it off of him.

“We’re getting him unstuck now.”

Hunk lets out a deep breath of relief. “Glad to hear it! Pidge and I found the files, we’re heading back to the ship now. You guys should hurry up before reinforcements get here.”

Shiro inhales sharply as they pry the pillar off of Lance’s waist. The black suit under his armor is torn to shreds where it was trapped beneath the beam, and his skin isn’t faring much better. He can see corners from the rubble beneath Lance jutting into his stomach now.

“Look that bad?” Lance chuckles. Shiro must made quite the face. He does his best to smooth out his grimace.

Keith frowns. “Your back is pretty torn up.”

“I, uh, may have panicked a little.”

Shiro strains to keep the pillar raised as Keith bends down to help Lance wriggle out. “How bad does it feel?”

“Won’t lie, a pod sounds pretty nice!”

Shiro lets the pillar drop with a _thud_ the moment Lance’s ankles clear its path. “Alright. Let’s get you back quick then.” Keith shoves Lance’s bayard into his palm and they start their stumble back to the ship.

The discreet ship they arrived in is much slower and rockier than any of the lions, unfortunately, and Lance is sweaty and exhausted by the time they get back to the castle. Pidge makes a face at the smear of blood Lance’s back made against his seat. Coran meets them at the docking bay and sweeps Lance away, Lance looking all too ready to collapse into one of the pods.

Shiro finally takes a deep breath.

Keith slaps him on the back, and he moves forward.

 

\---

 

“It’s mostly pretty superficial, not nearly as bad as it looks!” Coran reassures the team with a twirl of his moustache. “Tough cookie has one broken rib, but it didn’t do any damage.”

It’s true, and Lance is healed up by that evening. He topples out into Hunk’s waiting arms and shoots a finger gun at Allura. A knot that had twisted itself up in Shiro’s guts finally loosens at the breezy gesture.

“As much as I love this welcome party, I’m beat,” Lance admits.

Hunk frowns. “You sure you don’t wanna eat first?”

“Nah, bud, I’m good.” When Hunk’s face stays nervous, Lance squeezes his arm and smiles up at him. “Make me a big breakfast though!”

Hunk isn’t alone in his worrying. Keith is still shaken up if his snappy responses and restless legs mean anything. Pidge is doing her best to seem like she doesn’t care, but her shoulders are only now starting to relax again. Even Allura, stoic as ever, has a frown on her face. None of them are ever comfortable when someone gets hurt on a mission, but it’s somehow always extra rough when it’s Lance shut away for a few hours. Whenever it’s anyone else, after all, Lance is there to cheer them up with his bad humor.

Lance has been hurt much worse before. He’s been stranded on other planets and knocked out from bombs, broken a limb or two and fallen horribly ill. For whatever reason though, this is final straw for Shiro. He lies down in his bed for ten or twenty minutes and tries to think of anything other than Lance’s frightened voice or the shredded mess of a flight suit Coran had peeled from his body. Tries to shake the discomfort that’s been haunting him since the rest of the team sat silently around the dinner table, conversation coming much less smooth without Lance there to fill in all the gaps. Tries to forget the hurt in Lance’s eyes when he stupidly, _stupidly_ accused him of messing up the moment they found him.

He can’t.

He swings his legs back off his mattress, slips his arms back into his vest but doesn’t bother with his shoes. A minute later, he’s in front of Lance’s door with his fist raised and his adrenaline already starting to rush. He knocks before he can second guess himself.

The door slides open and Lance meets his gaze with a furrowed brow. He must have just gotten out of the shower; he’s wearing just his robe, his hair is fluffed up and his skin is flushed pink, baby smooth from one of his scrubs, probably. “Shiro? What’s up?”

He smells like something floral. Shiro takes a deep breath. It’s too sweet, too intoxicating, and Shiro’s fragments of a speech get swept away. His rough hands reach out for warm, soft skin. He gets a glimpse of Lance’s eyes going wide before he closes his own and presses their lips together.

The knot in Shiro’s stomach completely unravels at the feeling of Lance in his arms. He’s just barely shorter than Shiro but infinitely slimmer. His silky robe feels good against what little of Shiro’s skin is exposed. It feels so _right_ to hold him, like he can finally breathe. Then Lance melts into his grip, and suddenly he has no idea why he didn’t act on this sooner.

Those soft, soft lips part against Shiro’s and let out a tiny noise. He jerks back, cheeks getting even redder. “Shiro?” he squeaks.

“Is this okay?” Shiro asks. He’s surprised by how rough his voice comes out. He sounds desperate. It’s embarrassing, even though it’s true.

“I, uh, yeah,” Lance breathes like he can’t quite wrap his head around what’s happening.

“You scared me today,” Shiro murmurs into the curve of Lance’s neck. Skinny fingers rub at the shaved hair on the back of his head.

“Sorry, man.”

Shiro tightens his grip on Lance’s hips. “Don’t apologize.” Lance opens his mouth, then closes it again with a little hum. “Let me in?”

Lance’s chest rumbles against Shiro as he laughs. “Geez, okay. Get off me for two seconds so I can close the door.”

Shiro doesn’t know if it’s because it’s been so long since he’s been with anyone (he can’t even remember the last time; not since his undergraduate years, certainly) or if it’s the adrenaline in his system or, perhaps, just because it’s Lance, but he doesn’t think he’s ever felt so needy. He knows he should feel embarrassed about it. Lance laughs at him more than once, after all, biting his lip and grinning whenever Shiro rushes to take off his belt or fumbles with the lube. It’s impossible to feel self-conscious when he’s so focused on how good Lance looks underneath him, though. He’s warm and pliant and _bendy_ , Shiro learns. Lance laughs at his face again when Shiro finds he can just keep pushing Lance’s legs further and further.

It’s not the longest experience of Shiro’s life. Lance is sated by the end of it, though, so he doesn’t feel too bad. He collapses with a groan on top of Lance, nose buried in his neck again, and Lance takes to playing with his hair.

“Should’a told me you swung this way earlier, tiger,” Lance teases. Shiro agrees with a hum. “You doing okay?”

This time Shiro is the one who barks out a laugh. “I should be asking you that,” he says into Lance’s skin. Lance shivers.

“I mean. Something has to be wrong for you to come here so late, right?”

Shiro finally rolls off of Lance. He doesn’t like how cold he feels without Lance’s body heat next to his, though, so he tugs Lance against his side. “I was stressed,” he admits. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Lance nods. “I get it.” He shifts to get more comfortable. “My door is always open, man.”

Lance is smiling, but Shiro knows he’s serious. He feels more content, more understood than he has in a very long time. “Can I stay the night?” he murmurs into the small space between them.

“Of course, buddy.” Shiro smiles at the casual turn of phrase, sounding out of place after Lance had just been whining Shiro’s name moments beforehand.

Shiro sleeps through the night for the first time in ages.


	2. Chapter 2

Lance tries his best to be chill about the whole thing. It’s not the first time he’s had a sex friend. He knows what it’s like to desperately need human contact, and if anybody deserves to have and fill that desire, it’s Shiro. He was good in bed too. Maybe a little overbearing and clingy, but Lance was kind of into feeling a little smothered.

It’s just that he’s a little bit in love with Shiro.

It’s nothing painful or anything, but his heart still leaps whenever Shiro’s around, and he thinks that might be a little problematic. Lance is an all in or nothing kind of guy. He doesn’t like grey area. Friends with benefits are fine and fun and easy, and romance is exciting in a whole different way, and Lance does  _ not _ want to get the two twisted up in each other.

Lance isn’t known for his great self-control though.

It’s barely two days before Shiro is back in his bed, Lance on his lap and trying to stay quiet. He slept with a guy once who always made him bite a pillow to shut up, and Lance would be lying if it didn’t make him self-conscious about how loud he can get. He so badly doesn’t want to do anything to turn Shiro off. He wants to keep those dark eyes locked on him forever.

Shiro is calmer the second time. His hands aren’t everywhere on Lance’s body like they need to touch every inch of his skin  _ right now _ . They’re strong and steady on his hips, his callouses against Lance’s skin making him shudder. His gaze is burning. When he kisses Lance, he’s slow and deliberate, like he cares.

Lance stubbornly does not entertain that thought.

 

\---

 

Shiro, on the other hand, has never felt better. It’s so  _ easy _ to be around Lance. When he dozes off next to Lance he feels safe. It doesn’t fix everything, of course. The second night he spends in Lance’s bed he still wakes up with a gasp and the phantom sensation of chains around his wrists. There’s a moment of panic where he doesn’t recognize his surroundings, but then he finds Lance drooling on the pillow they’re sharing, and he feels grounded again. 

Usually after a nightmare he would get up and make rounds until morning. He doesn’t want to disturb Lance by moving the bed or with the sound of the door, though, so he remains in bed. He doesn’t expect to be able to fall back asleep, but the soft sound of Lance’s breathing must be magic. When he wakes again it’s to the sound of Lance’s shower starting. 

Lance is incredibly discreet about it. He’s a little more open and friendly with Shiro, but that’s about the only change in their dynamic. He doesn’t make lewd jokes during meals or torment Keith by giving him too much information. It doesn’t seem like he’s even told Hunk yet. 

They continue on this way, quietly, for a few more weeks. There’s no time or resources for grand romantic gestures, so they just sit up and talk aimlessly, usually in Lance’s bed. Shiro finds comfort in being surrounded by his personal touch. He feels rested on the nights they spend together. He doesn’t want to impose, of course, so he only comes by once every few days. He wants to try and be considerate after starting this all so suddenly, wants to give Lance the opportunity to take things at his own pace and preserve his privacy.

Shiro doesn’t realize this way of going about things is such a big mistake until it becomes devastatingly clear they’re not on the same page.

The team is at a celebration banquet when Shiro realizes how differently Lance has been interpreting their relationship. Shiro’s eyes keep wandering to Lance throughout the night as they mix and mingle. He’s easy to spot in his flashy Altean formalwear, and even if he wasn’t, his bright laughter carries over the chatter of everyone else. 

He had shared a drink with Lance at the bar at the beginning of the night. It was almost intimate, even though they were surrounded by bizarre, tipsy aliens. The lighting was dim and Lance was hunched over in his space. His cheeks were pink from the alcohol already. He was in a good mood, laughing at everything Shiro said. Shiro let their knees touch.

Lance got swept away by someone else eventually, but Shiro doesn’t mind. He wants Lance to have fun. He’s taking pity on Keith, talking to him so he doesn’t have to meet more strangers for a little while, daydreaming about getting Lance to come back and hang off his arm for a little while so he can put his hand on his slender waist when he spots Lance back at the bar. Shiro’s fond smile drops when he sees someone else’s arm wrapped around Lance. He’s firing up to go give the alien a piece of his mind, alliance be damned, but then he notices Lance leaning into the touch.

Shiro has seen Lance sloppy drunk before. This isn’t it. This is Lance fully coherent, just buzzed enough to have a good time, and fully encouraging this tall, androgynous figure to whisper in his ear. Shiro’s mouth feels dry.

“Shiro,” Keith says. Shiro tears his eyes away from Lance’s beaming face to look at him. Keith looks unimpressed. 

“Sorry, I’m listening.”

“Uh huh.” Keith peers around Shiro to see what he was staring at. Shiro glances back too, and finds Lance popping hors d'oeuvres into his mouth with his new company. The alien presses their lips to Lance’s stuffed cheek, prompting Lance to choke and laugh and swat playfully at them. “You’re gross,” Keith huffs.

Shiro blinks at him. “What?” 

Keith rolls his eyes. “Just do something already, watching you mope because of him is annoying.”

Shiro doesn’t know how to say that  _ he thought he already did _ , so he just sighs and keeps nursing his drink.

Lance doesn’t disappear with the alien at any point to Shiro’s relief. He flirts with what feels like the whole crowd though. Shiro tries not to focus on it, but somehow the drunker he gets, the more it becomes the only thing he can think about. Is Lance just teasing him? He’s not making eye contact with Shiro, though. Is this just how he has fun? Why isn’t he having fun with Shiro instead?

He can’t stop kicking himself. Suddenly the way Lance still calls him “buddy” and waits for Shiro to come to him makes sense. This is nothing to Lance.  _ He’s _ nothing to Lance. Lance thinks he’s nothing to Shiro.

Shiro tries to put the banquet out of his mind come morning. It’s not like Lance rejected him. He just doesn’t understand Shiro’s intentions because Shiro neglected to vocalize them. In hindsight, Shiro isn’t surprised Lance thinks they’re… sex friends. He should’ve known Lance wasn’t just being shy about telling everyone, he was just keeping his less-than-decent personal business to himself.

Suddenly, Shiro is nervous all over again. Lance is attracted to him physically, obviously, which Shiro will admit he’s spent a moment or two worrying about (while staring panic-stricken at the jagged scars he doesn’t remember receiving that decorate his flesh). It’s a good sign in one sense. He wonders though why Lance assumed Shiro was only coming to him for something physical. Did it genuinely not occur to him that Shiro might be looking for something more, or is Lance consciously keeping their relationship platonic? Did he flirt so hard in front of Shiro to make a point of it? Would he stop holding Shiro if he were to bring it up? Shiro isn’t sure he can go back to cold, lonely nights if Lance were uncomfortable with his feelings.

He’s painfully aware of the way he and Lance hardly interact over breakfast. Lance barely even meets his gaze from the other end of the table, like their relationship is just the same as it was their first day in this castle, like they mean nothing to each other, like they’re hardly even friends.

The goo is even blander than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dummies
> 
> (thank you guys for the kind comments!)


	3. Chapter 3

Shiro stays away a week or two to weigh his options. He wants to start over and do this right, wants to do his best to properly woo Lance, wants to accept whatever consequences that brings. But space is cold, and they stare death in the face every day, and Shiro is only human.

  
They’re back in Lance’s bed the first time they have a one-on-one conversation again. It feels too natural to stop. Lance is just so bright and warm and stupidly charming, even in the way his eyebrows waggle as he invites Shiro inside.

  
Guilt crawls under Shiro’s skin once they finish, though. It’s still early in the evening and neither of them are tired, so Lance has himself propped up on one elbow to look at Shiro while they speak. He’s telling a story about his niece when it hits Shiro. His mouth is curled into a small smile, his hair is fluffed up and out of place, his eyes keep shifting from meeting Shiro’s gaze to staring wistfully to the side as he recalls details, and Shiro is in love with him.

  
And it’s not fair, Shiro thinks, to use Lance like this. He can’t selfishly take what he wants without being honest. He can’t do this to himself, either, can’t continue to just skim his fingers along what he desires and never reach out to grab it.

  
But in the end, Shiro is still a weak, selfish man, and he resolves to fix it in the morning.

 

\---

 

Morning comes too soon. He wakes up before Lance does. If he had a nightmare, he doesn’t remember it.

  
Lance is even more endearing when he sleeps. He’s not particularly pretty at this moment; without a face mask to worry about, he’s smushed his cheek into the pillow. He’s snoring lightly and drooling, his limbs are flung across the bed every which way, he’s stolen most of the comforter, and Shiro is still horribly in love despite it. Shiro smooths Lance’s hair from his forehead, considers kissing it, but ultimately slips out of bed without doing so.

  
He runs around the castle to calm his nerves, takes a hot shower to calm his nerves, turns the water freezing to calm his nerves, but still arrives to breakfast feeling his own sped-up pulse in his chest. Lance, of course, acts (or perhaps doesn’t act at all) like everything is normal.

  
Shiro doesn’t quite follow the conversation at the table, too preoccupied with composing his speech for Lance. Pidge kicks his ankle for a response to something, but he only offers up a half hearted agreement. She mumbles something about him needing a nap, so he apologizes while Keith snickers across the table. Lance gives him a fond smile.  
As they’re all cleaning up their dishes, Shiro touches Lance’s elbow. “Walk with me?” he asks too quietly for anyone else to hear. Lance beams up at him and nods, all too eager to leave the washing to someone else. Shiro admires his long, strong hands as Lance dries them off on a tea towel.

  
“Where to, captain?” Lance asks as he finishes up. He falls into step next to Shiro. Shiro loves the way he feels at his side.

  
“Nowhere in particular,” Shiro tells him. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

  
Lance falters for one step but covers it up quickly. “Uh oh,” he says, keeping his voice light and a smile on his lips, “that sounds scary.”

  
Instead of really responding, Shiro hums. Lance fidgets next to him, and Shiro takes a deep breath. “It’s difficult to talk about,” he finally admits.

  
“Hey, that’s all right, man.”

  
“It’s about…” Shiro searches for a delicate way to phrase it. “...what we’re doing.”

  
Lance shrugs. “I mean, I figured. Shoot.”

  
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” Shiro keeps his eyes straight ahead of himself, but he still sees Lance’s shoulders rise. “It’s not fair to you when I’m really after something…more serious. Uh, romantic.”

  
“Oh,” Lance says. He pauses, scratches the back of his neck. Shiro holds his breath. “Okay,” he says. “So, you want to stop.”

  
Shiro has been getting intimate with the feeling of his stomach dropping to his knees ever since a Galra cruiser showed up on Kerberos, but it never gets any less unpleasant. He knows the breath he lets out is audibly shaky. “If that’s what you want,” he chokes out.

  
Lance gives him a look like he’s slightly stupid. “What I want doesn’t matter if you’re uncomfortable, bud.”

  
“I’m not uncomfortable!” Shiro insists, finally making eye contact again. “Nothing about you makes me uncomfortable, Lance, I just don’t like the way I’m trying to fool myself into thinking there’s more here than there is.”

  
Lance winces at this. He’s an excellent actor, but even he can’t make the smile he twists his face into look natural. “Hey, it’s cool, dude. Don’t worry about it.”

  
“Lance…”

  
“We’ll pretend it never happened,” Lance continues. He slaps Shiro on the back and shoots him a wink. “Our little secret.”

  
Shiro gives him what he’s sure is an equally unconvincing smile. “Sure,” he says in almost a whisper.

  
“Well, I promised Hunk and Pidge I’d test out the Space Invaders clone they’ve been working on, and Pidge’ll have my butt if I don’t show! Seeya around!” Lance’s voice climbs higher as he speaks. He casts a jaunty wave over his shoulder as he escapes but doesn’t show his face again.

  
Shiro rubs a hand down his face and stands rooted in the hallway as he comes to terms with the feeling of rejection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Communicate Guys


	4. Chapter 4

“Hunk,” Lance hisses at the door’s intercom, “Hunk!”

It slides open to reveal his friend. Hunk raises an eyebrow at him. “What’s the emergency?” He narrows his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“Um.” Lance hesitates. That’s enough for Hunk, who steps back and ushers Lance into his bedroom. Lance takes a seat on the floor, back against Hunk’s bed, and Hunk copies him. He’s too good to Lance like that, knows all his little quirks, knows Lance wants to be close but can’t be serious about what’s going on if they’re making eye contact. He briefly allows himself to be grateful once more for whatever god allowed Hunk to get swept away on this journey with him.

“You’re probably gonna be mad that I didn’t tell you this sooner,” Lance prefaces, glancing at Hunk out of the corner of his eye. Hunk only raises his eyebrows in response. “I, uh, I’ve been sleeping with Shiro.”

“You  _ what _ ?” Hunk exclaims, predictably. He falls into hushed whispers as if the walls aren’t soundproof. “For how long? Lance, how did—” Hunk cuts himself off, most likely already running through all the possible reasons Lance could be consulting him about this right now. “Oh, no, Lance,” he breathes.

It’s the sympathy in Hunk’s voice that finally gets Lance to choke up. “It was just, you know, a friends thing, and I thought that would be okay, you know?” He takes a moment to swallow down the lump in his throat. He’s determined not to cry over a boy like he’s a teenager again. “But, uh. Today he said he wants something serious.”

Hunk frowns. “Well, that’s good, isn’t it?”

“No, he…” Lance huffs out something that’s supposed to sound like a laugh. “He said he didn’t want to fool himself into thinking there was anything between us.”

“Buddy…” Hunk throws an arm around Lance’s shoulders and pulls him into a side hug. 

“I mean, like, I knew it all along.” Lance lets his head flop against Hunk’s shoulder. “It’s not like I had my hopes up or anything, but...” His voice hitches, getting higher. “It still sucks, you know? Knowing he doesn’t think there’s even a chance.”

Hunk sighs hard enough to shift Lance. “I know he’s our fearless leader or whatever, but sometimes that guy is a real idiot.” Lance laughs into his shoulder, and Hunk pretends not to hear how wet it sounds. “Sorry, bud.”

Lance shrugs. “It’s cool, I’ll get over it. Thanks.” He pauses for a few breaths to enjoy Hunk’s firm, comforting hold on him before jabbing a finger into his side. “You gotta make me some good food to drown my sorrows in, though.”

 

\---

 

Shiro is expecting things to be a little awkward and tense around Lance. He’s pretty sure it won’t be particularly noticeable, though, with how little Lance has given away up to this point. What he isn’t prepared for is the cold shoulder he’s getting from Hunk.

It’s not obvious. Everyone, even Lance, seems oblivious to it. Hunk has spent the past three days giving Shiro cold looks while being given instructions, serving Shiro just a little less food at dinner, and just generally seeming unimpressed with everything Shiro does. He’s got the face of a disappointed parent, and it grates on Shiro’s nerves.

Finally, Shiro pulls him aside after a meeting on the bridge. “Okay, Hunk. What’s going on?”

The look Hunk gives him while he chooses his words is long and hard and deeply unsettling. “I’m a little unhappy with your tact,” he eventually decides on.

Shiro frowns. “Uh. Pardon?”

Hunk scans the entrances to make sure nobody is lingering, then lowers his voice. “I shouldn’t be saying anything at all. Lance told me what went down with you guys.”

“Oh. Um, I figured.”

“It’s not a super cool move to tell someone you can’t ever see a future with them,” Hunk almost growls. “He isn’t mad, but you should work on your phrasing, dude.”

Shiro blinks. “I didn’t say that.”

“You said you didn’t want to ‘fool yourself,’” Hunk says, complete with air quotes, “into thinking you could get serious with him. That sucks!”

“No! That’s not what I meant, is that what he thinks?” His own panicked whispering makes Shiro feel like he’s back in high school gossiping about his dumb crush. It’s really not far from the truth, he supposes. “No, I meant, I meant… I’ll talk to him again.”

Hunk frowns. “Be nicer this time.” 

“I will! I really didn’t mean—” Shiro hesitates. “Wait. Is he, uh, upset about that? Do you think he’s interested in… that? Being serious?”

“I don’t know, Shiro, ask him yourself!”

Shiro nods. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay. Okay, I’ll talk to him.” He turns to rush after Lance like the fool he is, but not before catching narrowed eyes and furrowed brow Hunk sends his way. Shiro swallows, straightens his spine, and finds new determination to stay off of Hunk’s bad side.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Hunk could take Shiro if he really wanted to


	5. Chapter 5

Shiro likes to think himself a fairly observant leader, and as a result, he’s taken note of his teammates’ daily routines. Keith is by far the easiest to find. He’s most often overworking himself in the training room no matter how many times he’s scolded and forced to relax. If he’s not there, he’s either in his bedroom or his lion’s hangar, unless someone (Lance) has forced him to socialize in one of the common spaces. Hunk is the same way, though he replaces training with cooking and is otherwise most likely chatting with someone else. Pidge can be tricky to find. She frequently grabs her laptop and gadgets and hides herself away in some dark, otherwise unused part of the castle. She’s small, silent, and refuses to be found until she wants to. Even still, Lance can usually coax her out of hiding over the castle’s intercom with the tempting lure of video games, or Hunk with whatever unhealthy comfort food he whipped up.

After all this time stuck in space with him, though, Shiro still has no idea where to begin searching for Lance if he’s not hanging off Hunk or Pidge. He’s less predictable than the other paladins. Some days he’s solemnly staring into the void of space, some days he’s creating silly games to play with the mice, some days he’s tucked into a corner of the library with a tablet and a translation device Pidge cooked up. Today he makes it easy on Shiro by passing the time in his bedroom.

When Lance opens the door, he has a wet rag in one hand and a pink-cheeked, squeaky clean face. He smells like the almost-vanilla scented exfoliator Shiro secretly loves when he uses. His brow furrows a little when he sees Shiro in his doorway, like he’s confused.

“Oh, Shiro. What’s up?”

Shiro feels like a nervous ball of energy, so he’s shocked when his voice comes out smooth and steady. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

Lance twists his mouth to the side, and for a moment, Shiro thinks he’s going to be turned away. Instead, Lance takes a step back to let Shiro inside. “Yeah, okay. Gimme a sec to put on some lotion.” He waves his hand around at his bedroom while he turns back to his little skincare vanity. “Sit wherever, if you want.”

Shiro thinks about sitting, but he knows his leg will bounce and give away his jitters, so he takes to leaning against the wall next to Lance’s vanity in what he hopes is a casual way. Lance glances him but quickly goes back to watching himself apply his moisturizer in the mirror. “I love the way that vanilla one smells,” Shiro blurts out.

Lance’s hands freeze on his face. He sighs, screws the lid back onto his lotion, and turns to give Shiro a disgruntled look. “I’m not going to sleep with you again, dude.”

Shiro blinks. “Uh—”

“I get how nice it is to cozy up with someone, trust me, but I’ve never been good at keeping this kind of stuff isolated and I can’t keep _waking up next to someone_ and then acting like it’s totally platonic, okay?” Lance turns back to his vanity and begins aimlessly sorting his products with fingers Shiro thinks might be shaking, just so he doesn’t have to look at Shiro anymore.

Shiro swallows before talking and sets a hand one one of Lance’s. “That’s not what I want.”

“I know—”

“No, Lance.” Lance glances at him from the corner of his eye. He looks lost. “I think—I talked to Hunk earlier—”

“Oh, God,” Lance moans, his already pink face turning even brighter.

“—and I think I didn’t make myself clear. Uh, last time we talked.” Shiro licks his lips. Lance’s gaze darts down to the gesture for a fraction of a second Shiro thinks he might have imagined. “I wanted to cut it off because I wanted something serious with _you_. It felt like I was lying to you if I kept pretending I didn’t feel anything when I did. I do.”

Lance faces Shiro with a furrowed brow and open mouth. He seems to flicker through several emotions before eventually just hissing out a quiet “What?”

“I, uh, I really like you.”

“And you thought telling me you didn’t want to fool around with me was the way to confess that?”

Shiro raises both his hands in mock self defense. “I mean, you didn’t ask for clarification. I thought you were just letting me down easy!”

“You’re so dumb!” Lance smacks Shiro’s bicep, pouting up at him indignantly.

Shiro offers a sheepish smile when he decides Lance isn’t truly angry with him. “I just lose my cool when I’m around you, I guess.”

“Oh, so _now_ you have smooth lines.” Lance rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his chest.

“Sorry, I really went about this all wrong. I, uh, never meant for it to be casual. Even at the beginning.”

Lance lets the angry pout slip away into something a little more genuine, a little more confused and unsure. “Are you… serious?”

Shiro can feel heat crawling into his cheeks. “Yeah. I’ve wanted you for a long time, Lance.”

“I… Shiro, what the heck.’’ Lance leans an elbow on his vanity and hides his mouth behind his hand. He’s turned even redder, and is struggling to make eye contact. “Why didn’t you say so?”

Shiro laughs a little self-deprecatingly. “I kind of just kept assuming we were on the same page, and by the time I realized we weren’t, I didn’t know how to bring it up,” he admits. “I kept trying to pull back and start over and properly ask you out but… You’re just so great that I couldn’t stay away long enough to think it through…” Shiro clears his throat. He’s not sitting, but his leg is still jittering anyway. “Anyway, uh, would you be interested in anything like that? Like, a real relationship. No pressure or anything, but—”

“You big lug,” Lance interrupts, smacking Shiro’s arm again, “of course I’m interested, ugh!”

Shiro perks up. “Really?”

Lance finally makes eye contact with him again. “I’d have to be stupid to say no, dude, you’re like totally out of my league!”

“That’s not true! You’re amazing, Lance, you’re kind and intelligent and your skin is beautiful—”

“Okay, okay, shh. What on Earth, man, you should have just said this months ago and saved us all the trouble.” Lance smiles at him, finally, and it’s the best thing Shiro has seen all day even if it’s weak and embarrassed and still partially hidden behind his fingers. Shiro beams.

“Can we start over, then? I wanna treat you properly.”

Lance hums. “Okay. I’m looking forward to being properly wooed. But!” He holds a finger up in front of Shiro’s face. “I’m a proper lady, you know, I won’t be falling into bed with you until at least the fifth date. And no kissing before the third!”

Shiro laughs. “Alright then, I’ll plan some special ones quick.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” Lance says, turning his nose up. He can’t keep up the act though, and breaks into a grin. Shiro feels like he’s floating on air. For a moment, he can only stare.

“Okay,” he finally says, snapping himself out of it. “I’m gonna… honestly, go for a jog and burn off some of this nervous energy.” He runs the back of a finger along Lance’s cheek because he can’t resist touching the soft skin he’s been admiring since he walked into the room, then turns to leave.

Lance grabs his wrist before he can take a step and pulls him back around, leaning up to press their lips together. Shiro melts into him. “Just kidding,” Lance says into him. “I’m not that patient.”

 

    ---

 

In the morning, Shiro finally gets the clingy breakfast he was so surprised Lance didn’t go for so long ago. He meets Shiro outside his bedroom, pulls him into a minty fresh good-morning kiss, and laces their fingers together. He doesn’t let go even as they walk into the dining hall, paying no mind to Shiro’s flushed face and sweaty palm, and waggles his eyebrows excitedly when the others turn and see.

Keith looks vaguely nauseous throughout their meal, and Shiro has to eat with his left hand because Lance keeps clinging to his right, but Shiro’s never had a better morning in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to finish! Hope you all enjoyed ❤️


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